I put my head on the table and I was almost about to fall asleep, but then I noticed a waiter approaching me. A pretty good-looking waiter, at that. I sat up quickly.
"Hello," the waiter greeted me in a monotone voice. He sounded bored, like he hated his job. "My name's Brian, and I'll be serving you this evening."
Oh yes, a boring waiter. Might as well mess around with him, have a little fun. "Hi Brian, I'm Zacky. It's a pleasure meeting you, and I do hope that we can continue to talk even after this dinner." I stuck out my hand, offering for him to shake it. Brian looked at me like I was growing extra fingers, and I turned my hand around to check if I really was. There was nothing there. Maybe he was just hallucinating, the poor guy.
"Hm? Never shook someone's hand before? Or are you just a germophobe?" I inquired. I grabbed his hand and forcibly shook it.
He didn't answer. Brian sighed at me and asked, "What would you like to drink?" as if nothing had happened.
I picked up the menu and glanced at it passively before answering, "A glass of blood, please."
Brian gave me an unamused stare.
"Damn, I thought that one would at least make you crack a smile. Tough crowd, huh? In that case, I'll take Mountain Dew," I decided.
Brian looked genuinely relieved as he scribbled it down and left.
I leaned back in my chair, watching him leave. He was hot. His eyes were a deep, chocolate brown and his hair looked like he had been hit by lightning. At the bottom of his sleeves, I had noticed tattoos. It's a wonder how he even got hired in a fancy restaurant like this one. Although he was good-looking, I still wasn't sure on his personality. Either he was an emotionless jerk or he was just shy -- I was hoping for the latter.
Brian came back at that time with a glass of soda.
"Thank you, Brian. Now, you didn't spit in here, did you?" I eyed the glass suspiciously, although I knew that no saliva had entered my drink.
"That's an absurd idea, of course I didn't, Mr…ah…what do you want me to call you?"
"Well, that's kind of creepy, my waiter wants to know my last name. If you insist, you can call me Mr. Vengeance," I told him.
Brian rolled his eyes and sighed. "Surely that isn't your real name," he argued.
I laughed at this. "Nope, my real last name is Baker, but that's boring. Made-up names are just cooler -- y'know, like Slash," I explained to him.
"Slash?" Brian asked me.
"Oh, you know, really cool dude, plays the guitar." I demonstrated by playing the air guitar.
"I know who Slash is, I was just surprised you knew him," Brian answered, a bit irritated.
"Most people know Slash, honey."
"Oh, you'd be surprised. So, I'm assuming you like music?" Brian asked me.
"Music is my life!" I answered. "I play the guitar and I wish I could be in a band, but I doubt that any band I'd be in would make it, so I'm stuck working at a Taco Bell. Think outside the bun, dude," I said, throwing in a bit of an advertisement for my employer.
"Really? I play the guitar and I'm in the same situation as you, but I have this job," Brian replied somewhat excitedly. He even had a small smile, but it disappeared quickly.
So, we had something in common, plus he was starting to warm up to conversation.
"Now, are you ready to order your dinner?" Brian abruptly changed the subject.
"Aw, just when we were bonding," I sighed with a fake frown. I went back to looking at the menu.
"Alright…I'll take some steak. I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! I can rhyme any time!" I joked.
"That hardly rhymed," Brian responded, still unamused.
"Everyone's a critic," I sighed at him in mock despair. "You just don't know true talent. You haven't seen the true abilities of Zacky Vengeance," I ranted at him.
Brian stared at me like he really wanted to walk away, but wasn't sure what I would do to him if he did.
"You need to hear more of my work. Do you want me to go home and get my diary? You can hear all of my life's events since I was 16 years old," I suggested.
Brian's expression didn't change.
"Alright, be like that. I'll sing a song for you instead. What do you want to hear?"
Brian still didn't answer me.
"God, what kind of waiter are you? I ordered my food, didn't I?" I hissed at him, suddenly changing my mood.
"You…you're the one who…!" Brian grumbled as he walked away quickly.
I smiled to myself. Messing with Brian was much easier than it should've been. Honestly, I didn't mind him hanging around, I was kind of getting a crush on him. As long as we were having a conversation he could get involved in, he seemed really nice.
I put my hand behind my head and sipped my Mountain Dew. I looked around the rest of the restaurant. A young couple with a daughter who looked three or four was sitting at a table, the father pulling the kid's jacket off. A waiter went over to serve them -- guess who. Even worse was that he was smiling and joking around with them, being a lot friendlier than he was with me. In a way, I felt betrayed. He was working, he wasn't supposed to treat some customers better than others.
Brian looked at me quickly as he was talking to them, which I responded to by waving. No, not a little wave; the way you wave at a friend to get their attention in a big crowd.
Brian put his hand up to his face and looked like he either wished to kill me or kill himself, but the family he was serving laughed.
I took a mock bow, glad to humiliate him. He didn't find this so funny, and gave me and evil glare before going back to the kitchen.
"And here's your steak," Brian said as he put the plate on my table. "Mind you, I'm not going to serve you anymore if you keep fucking around like that. Seriously, I was trying to work," he warned me in a stern voice.
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Pinky promise." I held out my pinky.
Brian sighed reluctantly but locked his pinky around mine anyways.
"Do you want more soda?" he glanced at my empty cup.
"Oh, you want to get away from me that badly?" I teased.
"I have other people to serve," Brian answered me, pointing to the family.
"But, darling, their food will take a while to be cooked and even if you got me more soda it wouldn't be helping them. I want to get to know you," I whined.
I took a bite of my food as I waited for Brian's response.
He huffed at me. "Fine. If it'll make you stop being obnoxious, then I'll talk to you. What do you want to know?"
"Sexual orientation," I decided.
Brian's eye twitched involuntarily. "If you must know, I'm gay, but-"
"Yes, I knew it!" I cut him off mid-sentence as I slammed my fist against the table. I almost wanted to do a little victory dance. Maybe I did have a chance with him!
"How could you tell?" he gasped at me.
"Simple. No one as sexy as you could be straight. For example, look at me." I pointed to myself.
Brian blushed and looked away. "I really have to serve the others," he said to me quickly.
"Don't worry, I'll be waiting," I said in response. Now I had given up on censoring my thoughts and decided to say exactly what I felt.
Before Brian could leave, however, a waitress tapped him on the back. "Don't leave him, I can take the other table," she reassured Brian with a grin.
"No, I…" Brian babbled, but she put her hands on her hips as if she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
"Alright, go," he sighed. The girl left to serve the family, leaving Brian alone with me.
His eye twitched again.
"Man, you gotta get that eye checked out," I warned him, glancing up as I ate my dinner. "It could be a problem."
"Look what you did, now I'm stuck here and I can't finish serving anyone else," Brian hissed, ignoring my first comment.
"Well that isn't a problem, because I'm attracted to you and even if you hate me you'll get used to it eventually," I said to him with a shrug.
"What am I even supposed to say to that?" Brian grumbled, a light pink tinge returning to his cheeks.
"You're supposed to say, 'Ooh, baby, I think you're the sexiest man on the planet and I want to take you into a back room and fuck you'," I answered.
Brian's face went back to a bright crimson. I was surprised that it was possible for anyone's face to get that color.
"Can I get some more soda, please?" I asked him.
Brian grabbed the glass, glad to get away, and walked off.
I cackled, almost maniacally. Brian was fun to mess with; he was too shy, too quiet, and much too serious. I was too carefree and too silly for him to take. But they do say that opposites attract, right?" A glimmer of hope flickered in me, hope that he would like me. Oh, little boy fantasies. I sighed, awaiting Brian's return.
He came back with a new glass of Mountain Dew, still looking a bit flustered. Guess I either made him nervous or creeped him out, maybe even both.
"Thanks, baby," I cooed at him as I took a deep gulp of soda.
"Don't call me 'baby', and stop making weird sexual remarks," Brian ordered.
I wanted to remind him that I had only made one sexual remark so far, but I let him continue.
"I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm not attracted to you…"
Well, damn. That's a good way to make my hopes go down the drain.
"…and we're not an item or whatever you're thinking," he reminded me in a low voice.
"But I'm attracted to you and I just want to get to know you better," I responded. I paused before adding, "I totally regret saying that out loud."
Brian laughed at this. "You've been making comments like that all night, in case you haven't noticed."
"I know, but I…I don't know, that's how I express myself, I just say whatever I think…" I said, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. Butterflies were jumping around in my stomach…did I like him even more than I thought?
"Were you telling the truth, then? That you like me?" Brian's voice had lost the cold edge and was almost hopeful now.
"Why would I lie?" I replied, answering a question with a question.
"Well, most people don't even like me in a friendly way. They think I'm hard to talk to," Brian answered. He looked down as he spoke. Great, now we were both being awkward.
"No you're not, you're just shy. You're really nice when you're comfortable with conversation, like you kind of were a minute ago," I reassured him.
"I'm sorry, because I've been making it seem like I hate you all night long when really…" Brian trailed off.
"…all you want to do is kiss me and carry me off like a knight in shining armor," I finished for him.
Brian laughed. "That's one way to put it."
"Then do it, Prince Charming, because I don't like playing the princess in the first place and I'm impatien-"
Brian cut me off by quickly kissing me on the lips. "Now, shut up because I don't want anyone here to know about this," he said to me.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure that waitress chick from earlier already knows that you find me irresistible," I pointed out.
Brian rolled his eyes, but laughed. "The restaurant closes in like, ten minutes. Do you want me to get something for dessert and turn this into a dinner date? My treat," he suggested.
"I'd love that," I answered with a smile. "A dinner date…God, do you know how cheesy that sounds?"